I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
