Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize