thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
