Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
