he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
