she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
