addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize