why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
