Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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