I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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