just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
