is your mom at the bar?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
