we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
