Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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