I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
