I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Do vagina's smell?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
