We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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