clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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