Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
