what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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