Don't you send me to vm
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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