just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So. Much. Porn.
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