i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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