i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
