You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize