Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
