Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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