There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
