What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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