Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
