If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
