i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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