i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
