"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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