i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
