): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
