Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
