Duck Duck Cougar?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
