I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
