she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I came so hard my ears popped.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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