i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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