yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
