First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
