I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The feeling are messing with the penis
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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