More tranny stories later!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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