dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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