Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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