i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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