oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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