the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize