Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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