Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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