I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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