everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
