I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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