I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
