Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
please don't ironically join a cult
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