Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
