i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
