I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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