Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
