What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Operation Purity has been aborted
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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