break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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