4 words: hood of his car
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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