Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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