i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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