the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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