Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize