he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
