I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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