YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im about as happy as oj after his trial
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
