It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
